Fighting the Tide, Riding the Tide
And, in the continuing personal tradition of being manic-depressive in at least a pop-psychology sort of way, today I am fighting a downturn.

Did I say fighting?

I gave up on the fighting thing, really, recently, because it's like fighting the tide or some such. But I am trying to react in various ways that might help me ride the negative stuff out more easily, and perhaps even help it go away more quickly. I'm letting myself feel sort of sad; I'm recognizing that sometimes feeling sad this way is part of my continual healing process (of course, the process feels like a never-ending process, which is part of the problem, but I remind myself that it likely isn't never-ending--at least the intensity isn't); I'm also trying to recognize that the way I feel today (and last night) is a product of years and years of conditioning, at least as much caused by that as it is caused by more recent events. And heck, at least I can see some causes this time--that makes me feel somehow strangely consoled.

Another consolation: I think I actually *can* think my way out of some of this stuff, at least at this point. I can think about my future and my past and I can see the larger world around me; I can feel that other people have their lives to live, their own problems, their own depressions. And that, really, it's not all about me.

Which is, y'know, progress and shit.
Filed Under: Therapy