Tired of the Circles
One of the first things I learned from therapy was that somethign I needed to work on was being able to give myself space to think about certain things, but only for a limited amount of time. That is, once I find myself going around in circles, I need to be able to think about something else. I think there is a productive side to overworrying, actually...it's just about how 'over' is over. I think that some sleepless nights spent tossing and turning because my brain/heart combination won't shut off isn't such a bad thing, in moderation. It reminds me that feeling is part of living, and it also indicates that things matter to me--apathy is generally more my enemy than sadness. Which may be a suspect way to live, but I think it's what I want.
Still, there are times when enough is enough. Almost getting hit by a car on my bike because I can't stop thinking about something, for instance. Or getting so little sleep that I get into a downward spiral (lack of sleep encourages the circles-of-worry/thought/concern).
Some people have this skill sort of intuitively, I think. They can compartmentalize in general, and with emotional thinking in particular. I think I'm pretty bad at this. I tend to need to 'figure things out' before I can move on to other thoughts. Which, in a world in which lots of things aren't figure-out-able, is, y'know, not the greatest thing. But I am working on it. It's a matter of both distracting myself from the eddys of circular thought as well as reminding myself that sometimes I get into those circles because I would rather think and worry about that thing than face other, just as real or more real, worries in my life.
I think in a lot of ways I've been reacting to my now-a-year-and-a-half-ago breakup more deeply than I would have if it weren't the case that my relationship with S was a great distraction from lots of other things in my life that I ought to have been thinking about and working on. Not that this is the only reason it has affected me deeply--I think there are other, good reasons for that, too--but it is one I would do well to remind myself of, when I wake up at 3 in the morning thinking insecure unhappy thoughts about how valuable I am as a lover.
Filed under:Therapy
One of the first things I learned from therapy was that somethign I needed to work on was being able to give myself space to think about certain things, but only for a limited amount of time. That is, once I find myself going around in circles, I need to be able to think about something else. I think there is a productive side to overworrying, actually...it's just about how 'over' is over. I think that some sleepless nights spent tossing and turning because my brain/heart combination won't shut off isn't such a bad thing, in moderation. It reminds me that feeling is part of living, and it also indicates that things matter to me--apathy is generally more my enemy than sadness. Which may be a suspect way to live, but I think it's what I want.
Still, there are times when enough is enough. Almost getting hit by a car on my bike because I can't stop thinking about something, for instance. Or getting so little sleep that I get into a downward spiral (lack of sleep encourages the circles-of-worry/thought/concern).
Some people have this skill sort of intuitively, I think. They can compartmentalize in general, and with emotional thinking in particular. I think I'm pretty bad at this. I tend to need to 'figure things out' before I can move on to other thoughts. Which, in a world in which lots of things aren't figure-out-able, is, y'know, not the greatest thing. But I am working on it. It's a matter of both distracting myself from the eddys of circular thought as well as reminding myself that sometimes I get into those circles because I would rather think and worry about that thing than face other, just as real or more real, worries in my life.
I think in a lot of ways I've been reacting to my now-a-year-and-a-half-ago breakup more deeply than I would have if it weren't the case that my relationship with S was a great distraction from lots of other things in my life that I ought to have been thinking about and working on. Not that this is the only reason it has affected me deeply--I think there are other, good reasons for that, too--but it is one I would do well to remind myself of, when I wake up at 3 in the morning thinking insecure unhappy thoughts about how valuable I am as a lover.
Filed under:Therapy
posted by Jeff Pollet at 7:11 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home